<3-BREAKING NEWS!!

It was quarter-past eleven and my 3-year old nephew wouldn't go to sleep. Annoyed by his whining and irrational reluctance, my sister switched on the TV and tuned into Star News. My nephew was so horrified seeing that bearded man (from the famous or infamous, whatever you call it, show Sansani) , that he immediately went to sleep without uttering another word. Frankly speaking, the cheaply haunting background music (just imagine, background music in a news show..neways) plus the punch line of the show "Chain se sona hai to jaag jaayiye" plus the ridiculous tone in which it is spoken, sends me back to the days of Zee Horror Show. And even then, people complaint that our news channels don't have "impact". Infact the TATA SKY people are so confused, that they are planning to shift news channels like Aaj Tak, Zee News, Star News and India TV (well... it's not a news channel after all, it's a horror-cum-entertainment channel) into their entertainment section. No kidding!

Another day, I was having breakfast with folks from my college, and I asked them, "Guys, do you think our news channels have reached the nadir in terms of news reporting?". Before anyone could say anything, one of them snapped, "आप अपने जवाब हमें SMS भी कर सकते हैं। बस Type कीजिये <नाम> <जवाब> और भेज दीजिये 5566 पर". We all burst out laughing. The more painful thing was that even if such a poll was to be conducted, the results wouldn't be divided into two categories of YES or NO. There's always a third answer - DON'T KNOW. I mean, come on, it's like people in India have nothing better to do than SMS on a stupid question even when they "don't know". It's really a great thing that we do not have this third option on the ballot paper!

Then there's the BREAKING NEWS... which breaks my heart, if nothing else (hoping that you got the heart-shaped symbol in the title of this post). Police commissioner loses his dog... BREAKING NEWS!! Rahul Gandhi eats dal-poori.. BREAKING NEWS!! God knows what-not they display under the title of BREAKING NEWS. In the last few years, since this "breaking-news" funda got popularized, I don't remember that this "BREAKING NEWS" title is ever removed from the screen. One of my fond memories (and it's only fond because it was ridiculously funny) with this breaking-news debacle, is when I saw this "news" on Aaj Tak... (a still captured from the TV screen displayed below). The pic says "अमिताभ बच्चन को ठण्ड लगी.. BREAKING NEWS". And probably the MTNL help-line was given so that people could call to send free blankets???

And then we have India TV (probably the worst of all) with its horrifying news and baba-fied programs. Shows like ACP Arjun (their counter-part of Sansani), Swami Ramdev ka Yoga Show (please leave something for health & lifestyle channels) and then another Frankenstein-like baba who tells people their fortune, quintessentially explain the sorrow state of news reporting in our country. The high-melodrama created over petty things WHILE ignoring news that is really concerned with social issues and that will affect people's lives.

My younger brother asked me the meaning of NEWS. I wished I had told him North, East, West, South which gained immense colloquial popularity. Instead, I told him that NEWS means - Non-sense, Empty, Wasteful ,Shows!!